As our children reach the stage of the teenage life, we have to be aware that it is not only their physical appearance that changes, but hormonal changes takes place too. This is the stage where they become most emotionally sensitive and becomes more bullheaded.
As I have no daughter, this is how I manage to accomplish parenting a teenager, my eldest son who is now in his manhood being 22 years old.
First is Attention: Teenagers are most likely attention seekers; let them feel that you are always there to help them in case they need your help and suggestion. This is the time when they are vainer in choosing their clothes and attire. The period of pimple break out. Tend to their needs in minimizing those ugly acne, advice them how to take care of it or accompany him/her to a dermatologist if needed.
Second is Encouragement: Stimulate his potentials and interests, to drive more effort and improvement. Give him the support he needed. Comforting words are very important at times he’s feeling down. Encourage and teach them to be responsible for themselves and be considerate of others to function well in the society.
Third is Engagement in Family Matters: The stage where they cannot be classified as an adult or a child. Let and hear them speak in giving off ideas and sharing their views in talks of family matters. Although, they will not be the ones to decide but their insights will count a lot and will let them feel that they belong. Give or assign them a responsibility, like to take in charge of the house while you are out, look after his younger sibling, etc. If you have a family business, let them get involved, We had an ICafe business two years ago and I let my eldest son handle its operation, he was able to learn how to value and spend hard earned money.
Fourth, Set limits: It is important to set limits and boundaries in your teenager’s liberty. Be firm in implementing the house rules. Attending parties is ok once in a while, but as I already mentioned in my previous post, sleep over to their classmate or friend’s house is a big NO! Implementing curfew hours will make them realize the value of time management.
Fifth, Speak in a friendly tone: Listen well and affirm positive qualities, learn to acknowledge their contributions as well as results. Know their peers and friends, so he will be able to open up discussions and tell you stories of what happened during his day over dinner.
Sixth, Do not blame: Although you are already steaming hot in anger on their disobedience, learn how to control your anger. Try to hold yourself, listen to their reasoning, ask for explanation and clarity. Definitely, you will know if he is pulling your leg. Let him know if you do not believe his excuses, site examples and proofs why.
Seventh, Show love, trust and respect: It is not enough to be there, it is important to let them feel that we love and care for them. Respect their privacy, we do not have to keep on tracking their whereabouts, just remind them that we are just a call away, the primary purpose of bringing a cell phone. Put your trust in them, they will refrain from telling lies if they feel you trust them
Eighth, Always open the channels of communication: Frequent communication with no holds barred is one of the keys to raise up a kid favorably. Talk about pre-marital sex, early marriage, and emphasize importance of finishing his studies and getting a stable job before compromising in a serious relationship.
Now that my eldest son is already an adult, he is ready to face his life's journey on his own. I will always be around in case he needs my advise and help. By the way, I am still not finished in dealing with a teenager for I still have my youngest son who's now a year away to teenage life.
|Yahmir, my youngest son who is now 13 yrs. old|