The Role of House Rules in Parenting

Our family agreed to have a set of house rules to follow.  House helpers are included as well to abide in these policies.  My husband and I strictly implemented these regulations primarily for the sake of our kids.  Rules at home is a preparation for rules in society. The principle of proper behavior, organization, responsibility and self-discipline  should be first taught and learned at home.  The time when our kids are ready to go to school, their first step in facing the outside world, they will be ready to comply and conform with the standards.

The following are our House Rules:

  • Respect each others privacy.  Don’t just get things which are not yours.  Ask for permission if you want to borrow personal things of other members of the family. For instance: cellphones and other gadgets and things.
  • Return the things properly where you get it.
  • Maintain the cleanliness, order and care of your respective and utility areas.  Organize your things and area everyday.
  • Tidy up your toys after playing with it.  Clean up your mess!
  • Limit the Usage of Computers and other gaming gadgets like PSP, Nintendo DS, Play Station etc and Television during school days.  They are allowed to watch TV or play with their gaming gadgets after they studied their lessons and only on a limited time on weekdays.  Weekends and holidays are their best time to play or watch longer with it.
  • Show concern in economizing electricity and water usage. Yet, do not just show, act on it.
  • Observe time.  If you cannot get home by the time you were expected to be in the house, call and inform us why and your whereabouts.
  • Sleep over in other’s house is a big NO-NO, because we do it the other way. They can let their groupmates or friends sleep over in our home if there’s a need to finish a project asap.  The reason why we allow it, is for us to make sure that our kids are safe and at the same time we can meet and be acquainted with their peers and friends.
  • Make sure you do your duties at home.  We assign duties for them to learn how to do some house chores.  We ask for our kids help in doing some house chores during weekends and vacation. We cannot always rely on our house helpers to do everything for us.
  • Liars has no space in our home.  You’ve got nothing to lose if you tell the truth.  Honesty is the best policy.  I have no problems with my kids regarding this rule.  The problem usually arises with house helps. 
  • Freedom of expression is very much allowed.  Lines of communication are always kept open. If we parents are too quick to be harsh or judgmental, kids are apt to simply shut themselves off and keep quiet about their lives.  No matter how busy we are, we always find time to listen and attend to our children’s needs. We talk about anything and everything that concerns them.  The reason why they do not hide things from us.  They can lean on us anytime.
  • Violation: Teaching through Rewards and Consequences so we can guide our kids toward preferred actions by paying attention and complimenting their good choices.

Rules are not meant to limit children’s creativity or force them into some type of rigid mold, but instead are put in place to keep them safe and to guide them toward responsible behaviors as they Grow Up.

Lovingly written by Joy


Josie said...

I very much agree with setting-up a rule in the house, when the kids got used to it, they will pass it on to their kids too. Mas mahirap pang disiplinahin ay ung mga helper, dami pa din pasaway khit gano ka kabait.

air said...

thanks for sharing this mam joy

Pepper said...

I couldn't agree with you more. House rules are important and beneficial to all, as long as everyone cooperates.

joysflair said...

hello Pepper, we impose complying or else ahaha. thanks for dropping by, just left a comment in your blog too
followed you back also :)

joysflair said...

always welcome Air *hugs*

joysflair said...

sinabi mo pa sis Josie, lalo na when it comes to pagsisinungaling, yan ata expertise ng most house helpers lol

blankPixels said...

I agree with everything you listed here, especially about having an open communication between kids and parents. My mother learned this the hard way. She was a very strict mother back when I was still in college. Something happened in my life that made her realize she needed to be a friend to us instead of a way-too-fricking serious parent. After that incident and another concern related to my bro, she became the best mom evahhh!! We now consider her as a confidante. It's really important that you also become friends with your kids so they'll be comfortable opening up to you.

Regarding your other rules, we never really followed them at home. But, seeing how my mom diligently performs all her duties at home made us realize we need to help around the house and be more responsible so we can take care of her in the future.

Here's another long, blog post-like comment... hahaha. :)

joysflair said...

your Mom and my Mom have one thing in common, being so strict during our younger days. so when i became a mother i revised some of her ways in parenting :)

Those were the days, now my Mom is as cool as your Mom too, lol

ahaha, i really am happy to see long reactions and comments sis, i encourage my other readers and commenters to do the same too, to voice out your opinions and go let our hearts speak, lol

Marikoy said...

Today, at church, some mums & grandmums shared problems they have with the children in their families. It made me worry about me as a mother in the future. These rules would be very helpful and inspiring. I hope I'd be able to raise my kids to be good and reliable people when my turn comes. :-)

Carlota said...

agree 500% with your daughter can only sleep over in 1 house...kababata nya and para na rin anak ko :) ...

joysflair said...

you can do it Marikoy :) in my 22 years as a mother, there are times that i am still confused and dissapointed, anyway, nobody's perfect, we learn from our mistakes :)

joysflair said...

hello sis Carlota! thanks for agreeing with me :)

i love the look of your blog Dashing Smiles :)

k4dford said...

just want to share a letter our son wrote to us many years years ago...

Mom & Dad,

> Dearest mom & dad, first of all, I would like you to read this
> together. I don't want to see a division- a wall between us so to
> speak- that would only end up short of the best.
> All these years, I have been brought up as a single son. I received
> everything I would need and even learned some things you have never
> taught verbally, but as I see you everyday or so, I pick up some great
> deal of lessons. Those non-verbal things would be elaborated later.
> Well, I would like to thank you so very much for my upbringing. I
> could never imagine a different me if I have been raised a little
> differently. YOU ARE THE BEST FATHER AND MOTHER a boy could have.
> Everyday you would teach me a thing or two (basic things like meals,
> manners and the sort). But that doesn't stop at that. You support me,
> trying your best to give me the best help I could get, you managed to
> get me through. Assignments, lullabies ( oh, yes, I miss them),
> lambingan, advice, studies, valued opinions, material things like DSL,
> PS2, cellphone, the most advanced (for our budget) PC...the list goes
> on and on.

> However, the best gift, blessing, pamana, legacy, mark, etc that you
> have given me is LOVE. Yes, love.
> Even though we don't speak often these days because of a lot of
> things, one thing is clear to my heart, YOU LOVE ME. LOVE REIGNS IN

> Now, it seems that time is flying so fast.
> Everything is shifting to a higher gear and society and myself prompts
> me to try to be a man. That is why I am always asking questions.
> Forgive me if it gets annoying for my role models are you.

> I always try to understand the point of tying to protect me. I am also
> aware that in my arrogance, I fail to see the point that I am trying
> my hardest to understand. That could only mean one thing, that I am
> not yet good enough. As much as  I would want to do the Christian way
> of understanding, I end up becoming a boy again.

> Forgive me when I act so selfish. Forgive my immaturity. Forgive my
> unbecomingness. If you could only hear my heart shout right now "I
> want to hug you and hold you tight! I need the feeling (always) of our
> small family intact and safe!"
>  But as always, I grow short. I feel shy and even embarrassed at the
> word that makes up the world. But let me say it now, once again, even
> in writing, I LOVE YOU.
> If it was only possible that we would be always together, then what a
> ride it could have been. Yet, it is not reality. We are somewhat far
> away but I know that our hearts are always together. That is how I
> learned the non-verbal virtues of independence, strength, reason,
> faith, understanding and perseverance. Little did you know that even
> without mentioning these too often, I have learned these all from
> you-my beloved parents I am this good because of you.
> No one, nothing could replace the things we had together. We are the
> best-we are rocking good!
> Nobody could have first told me the fundamentals of life-right from
> wrong, safe from hazardous. Nobody could have supported me all through
> touch roads of life, except you. Knowing that we have been always
> faithful to one another and to the God that sanctifies us, I could
> never trade anything na ang kapalit ay kayo.

> You mean a lot to me. As your only son, I would try my best, all my
> heart, body and soul and mind to keep our family up and loving. I love
> you and I thank the Lord that I have you as my parents.

> All the deepest and unconditional love,

joysflair said...

We reap what we sow :)  That was a very touching letter. Your son definitely will be a good father and husband too! 

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