|Photo credits to: Keoni Cabral on Flickr - https://flic.kr/p/92xxjC|
Getting a divorce is a traumatic time for everybody involved. If you have decided to divorce your husband, you need some advice. Going through this period alone will be tough. You should make sure that you have the help and support of your family around you before you do anything. Your social support will be important during this period. After the divorce, you might not feel like yourself. Loads of people say that they feel lost in the first few weeks after a separation. Here is some practical advice that might help.
Get some space
Of course, you want space from your ex, but you need space from everybody else too. When you have gone through a divorce, everybody has something to say about it. Before you face people, you should take some time to be alone. You will need to answer loads of questions when you see people. For now, you should take some time to think about what has happened. Book yourself a mini-break or take a few days away from home. You need to decide how you feel before you talk to everybody else.
Divide your belongings
Dividing your belongings can be messy. If you have agreed on a settlement, you know who gets what. When it comes to the house, you might want to consider buying your ex-husband out of the home. If he agrees, you can keep the house. The main problem with buying someone out is that it is expensive. If neither of you can afford to buy the other out, you may need to sell the house. Selling property at auction could mean that you get a quick sale on your home. That means that you don't have to wait to get your share of the money.
Talk to the children
Talking to your children about divorce is tricky. The last thing you want to do is tell them negative things about their father. You might feel bitter right now. You might hate your ex and want to hurt him. None of that matters. When you talk to your children, you need to stay calm and neutral. Tell them about that you both still love them and work out a plan so that they can have regular contact with their dad. One major mistake that many women make is preventing their children from seeing their dad. It might be tempting to try and spite your ex right now, but you will regret that decision later.
Avoid family functions
If somebody invites you to a family function, you should avoid going. One of the things people find difficult when they divorce is avoiding one another. When you see each other, you will start arguing. If you can't be civil around one another, you should make an effort to avoid one another. Of course, this method won't work forever. You have mutual friends, and you have children. That means that you need to be part of one another's life. For now, take some time away from your ex, until you're ready to be friends.
Stop blaming and start talking
Don't ask why things happened or what went wrong. You can blame tiny details in your marriage or your ex, but what is the point in that? Instead, you should talk about things. Expressing your feelings to the people around you will help you to get some perspective. Don't sit around talking about your ex and saying hurtful things. When people say negative things, they feel negative. Instead, start talking about how you're feeling. Talk to a close friend or family member. He or she will give you some advice.