Being the eldest among 4 sisters, I could still remember the frequent fights we had when we were still in our younger ages, now that I am a mother, I can relate on how hard my mom did her best to eradicate the problem among us, her daughters. Though sibling rivalry is a part of human nature, I learned from my mom that its frequency can be decreased by showing each of your children how special they are. Mom advised me, to keep sibling rivalry to a manageable minimum, you have to teach your children that getting along gives them what they want: attention and privileges.
It’s easy to comprehend but hard to apply. As the years go by, and my sons are growing fast, I learned through experience that it is very important to plan time alone with each of your children. I can focus my attention on each of my children’s needs, as well as it will keep me informed about feelings and problems they might be encountering especially during the puberty stage.
Still, there are times wherein my two boys flare up and fight, there I will stand in the middle and say “You may get along with each other and continue to play, or not to get along and be separated in Time Out”, and to remind them that their ages are 9 years apart from each other, they should learn already where to put themselves and not act like babies.
Sometimes, I get upset, but I don’t hold grudges to my children, after the dispute has been settled, I keep on reminding them that they are blood brothers and the more that they should love each other and learn how to control their emotions.
One more important lesson I learned is to never respond on their tattle. Children tattle on each other as a way of enhancing their position with their parents. Learn how to ignore their tattling.
If we cannot prevent the problem, we can solve it out in a manner of knowing how to communicate with them without the use of spanking or hitting our children.